still on Asian idols, if you're interested

I'll be talking about how I got into AKB48 because I was drunk when I wrote the last post. (not literally) (just the usual I'm-so-done-with-typing-for-the-rest-of-my-life type of drunk) (I don't have that often, don't worry)

Ehem.

So. Where to start.

Heavy Rotation?

Heavy Rotation.

Heavy Rotation makes me feel like AKB48 fans are pervy freaks that are even worse than KPop fans in terms of ruining idols' lives because, uhm. The girls are in lingeries kissing each other and shit because it's their job, supposedly?? What kind of entertainment would do such a thing just to please fans?? The fans themselves must be sooo pathetic to buy into this superficial, shallow stuff.

"Oh, there must be worse shit than this from this obscene group!! Let the judge-fest begin!" I said excitedly as I munched my metaphorical popcorn and searched for "AKB48" in YouTube.

Manatsu no Sounds Good!! Ponytail to Chouchou!! Blasphemy!! They're in bikinis again!

.....the song's are quite catchy though, I can't get it out of my hea—

Stop it!! You hate this band. They're pervy!!!

But Managuu and GM5—

NO! They. Are. Slutty.

But it's catchy. I have got to have this on my iPod. Just the catchy ones. I have Rebecca Black and Hannah Montana, some more shallow bubble gum pop wouldn't hurt!! Just the catchy songs, I swear. It's not like I'd become a fan of theirs—

(Oops.)

Page four or five in the YouTube search for AKB48 reveals Sakura no Shiori and Majisuka Rock and Roll and RIVER and Beginner and that's where I stopped and went all, "Huh," amusedly. The girls are still ugly and the bikinis in summer songs (as I later learned they were called) are still undeniably there, but there's a new feeling when I watch their videos.

I feel energized.

They don't try to be pretty because they're not (compared with KPop girls), they just try to match the mood of the song and move accordingly. I feel like it's more natural somehow, how they smile widely or glower at us and dance in such great number with an even greater energy. It was chaos, but a good kind of chaos. They're not prim and perfect nor in sync — arms flew here and there and legs are kicked left and right and they leap and smile —and it's out of order, really. I don't find their voices pleasant, and their songs mostly sound like it's exploding right at your face. Some of the members have really horrible teeth and I find no one with a standard beauty face for Asian.

I was drawn to it like a curious child was drawn to pretty, shining toys. And in a way, they were. They wore cute dresses and uniforms and I find that to be more aesthetically pleasing than what KPop girl groups usually wear (save for cutesy groups like APink and Hello Venus, ofc).

So their energetic routine and upbeat performances got me interested, but it was AkiP that got me hooked to them for real. If it wasn't for his ingenious marketing tactics — oh, handshake tickets and theater shows everyday because these idols are idols you can meet *sparkling smile* — I would just dismiss them as a group with catchy songs but no real meaning, as they have no talent whatsoever. But AkiP made it personal by making us connect more with the girls, that each desperately needs your support. Vote for a girl. Go handshake with a girl. Cheer for a girl. See which girl has the greatest support and watch her flourish, and see which has the least and watch her cry. Everything is because of you — that girl succeeds, it's because of your votes and attention. That one rots in the background — well, you should've given her more of your time and money.

By participating in this fandom, by buying CDs and such, you are making a girl's dream come true, so that when she graduates, she can stand on her own and chase her dreams.

I don't see that kind of sly emotional technique used on KPop. You like a band, good, give 'em all your money till you're bored or the band dies. Here, you give them your money so they'll look at the girl you like and push her more and when she graduates she has a firm fanbase to help her succeed in whatever she wants to do. It's a dream factory and it's brilliant strategy.

Another thing is that the songs actually matter. The lyrics matter; it's not just about love or having your heart broken. I mean sure, most A-side songs are like that, but when you dig deep to the stage songs and B-sides, you get so much more diversity. Songs about not giving up, about suicide, about sex, about death, about being tired of life. And the songs about love, well, there are so much to explore here. There's a lesbian love song. There's one where he just wants to scream his love to a girl out loud, not caring that he'd look like an idiot, and one where she's lonely and just wanted to be held. AkiP's an amazing lyricist, and it's always a pleasure to read his works (in translation ofc creys)

Also: there's always something going on in the fandom. Events after events poured in, so do handshakes and concerts and theater shows and releases and singles and albums and TV shows... AKB48 has a vast discography, as well as filmography. It's been months since I've started liking this group and I haven't even seen a full episode of their variety show, simply because I'm too busy catching up with their history and what the fuck's going on now and new singles and shit.

The dramas are good, too. Both from the members and the fans. Paruru won Janken! Drama. Meru-Mio is center! Drama. Sasshi won first! Drama. It's entertaining and I enjoy taking part in debates and discussions. (+the actual dramas, as in with AKB48 members being actresses and all, are really good too. Cried on all three versions of So Long!)

Anyway. On to KPop?

Katasha's KPop-deprived-ears-for-a-few-months List of Best Half-Year 2013 Releases!!! ^A^)/

1. Love Blossom, K.Will 
2. NoNoNo (+every songs in the mini album tbh uNF), APink
3. Wolf (+like, most of the songs in this mini album thingy tbh), EXO
4. Destiny, Infinite
5. Comeback When You Hear This Song & A.D.T.O.Y, 2PM (tied because I can)
6. Hello, NU'EST
7. Man in Love (except not really but the mini album's A++++ so), Infinite
8. What's Going On (solid mini album thingy ok), B1A4
9. 2nd Confession, BTOB
10. Joah, Jay Park

Jay Park is kami-bias so even though his song's number 10 his existence is number one in my kokoro just to get that clear capiche

Tempted to include BEAST because wow these boys are amazing at ballads and shit but Shadow sucks and I haven't heard the full album yet so idk sorry babies

Decided that APink (and maybe Hello Venus idk??) will be my only girl KPop group fav ever that I follow ok because everyone else is doing ~sekusshi~ and no I don't swing that way

Let's do one for AKB48 +sister groups because I can rofl

Katasha's over-saturated-with-AKB48-ears List of Best Half-Year 2013 Releases!!! *A*)/

1. Bokura no Eureka, NMB48 Senbatsu
2. Haste to Waste, BKA48
3. Kono Namida wo Kimi ni Sasagu, NO NAME
4. So Long, AKB48 Senbatsu
5. Bara no Kajitsu, AKB48 Undergirls
6. Rappa Renshuu-chuu, Watanabe Mayu
7. Koi Suru Fortune Cookie, AKB48 Senbatsu
8. Ikiru Koto, Team A
9. Waiting Room, AKB48 Undergirls
10. Yabanna Soft Cream, NMB48 Akagumi

HKT hasn't released anything yet (Melon Juice in a month or so I think??) and I don't follow SKE that much so

If someone knows NMB and is reading this can you please find me an oshimen because I'm really fond of this group and it's killing me to not have an oshi there ok sobs (I guess temporarily it's Maachun but she doesn't give the oshimen dokidoki feeling like Suuchan or Aoitan does, yknow)

Hi.

Updates, updates!

1. I'm going to be in my third semester in September. Woot.
2. Officially a senior, an associate team leader for IMOTION and MIST, an SLC in MSS, and a mentor for OPK.
3. Got failing scores in Maths, Stats, and Intermediate Microeconomics.
4. GPA's above 3.00, below 3.50. Could be better, could be worse.
5. Got into AKB48, less so with KPop.
6. Still not over E.
7. Read some books, John Green's The Fault in Our Stars being one of them. Not a fan. Too cheesy for my taste.

Going to stop at seven because seven's the magic number. (seven horcruxes, kami-seven, seven days a week, etcetera). Instead, I suppose I'm going to write about useless shit — when have I not, really — in the following paragraphs. Struggles of a pitifully ordinary, slightly dumb seventeen-year-old, you can say. With a hint of fangirling. And perhaps some clever/witty comments slipped in here and there.

I decided to do this in English because honestly, I suck at this now. I forgot words and phrases and I can't seem to pronounce shit right. Meanwhile, my Indonesian hasn't improved as well. It's like I'm downgrading, language-wise, and it sucks balls. English is supposedly one of my strengths, you know? And for someone with a very short list of things she's good at (hint: less than three, close to zero), to be losing one's skill is extremely frustrating. I suspect this is because I've been spending less time reading — and no, marketing articles do not count because those are technical stuff, not literature — and thus the need to spew out pretty words just seem to decline. Plus, the professors' English blows. Like, please-hit-yourself-with-a-brick kind of blows.

In the fashion of a true erratic teenager, I shall jump to my discovery of sparkling, smiling Asian idols, because this blog's mine and I can easily not care about sequence and coherency and shit like that. So, Asian idols it is. Where to start— hmm? KPop, you say? (shit, this ain't some interactive fairy tale book crap, wtf am I doing tbh) All right, it's not like I have other shit to do. Let's do KPop first.

KPop is like the high school version of The Jonas Brothers. You get into them because everyone else does and it's inevitable, like trading ugly binder papers in elementary school and hanging sanitary liquids with pouches on your bags. "What's so good about them?" you ask yourself, and your friends cried hysterically, "You absolutely must see this and this and this video!!" So you did. And they were catchy and good looking. And then came the varieties. And they were funny. And adorable. And before you know it, you're trapped in the world of hip thrusts and tight pants and defined abs, and it's absolutely normal and okay. Everybody else lust for these pretty boys too and you have friends to squeal with and it's great, it really is. You spend hours and hours watching videos of them being gorgeous and cute and hilarious. Your life revolves around them. NEW SELCA OMG!!? 8327 hours till MV's up!! DEAR JAYSUS THAT WINKEU?/!!! It's undeniably fun for a while.

Until you realized they're slowly but surely worming their way into your heart and you start to treat them as more than just good looking Korean men. You suddenly think you know them, from the shows you watch and the concerts you see. And there's something personal when you watch them, an emotional attachment of some sort. And that's not good, is it? They're no more than products, marketed to be likeable for the young adult population so we'll give them money. Yet everyone still glorifies them, and uses extremely intimate words, "I care about them," etc. I mean, they're almost not real — at least, not in your world. It's stupid when it goes beyond idolizing, when you actually yearn to be close to them personally and develop a kind of "crush". Idols are there to be looked up to; they belong to everyone, after all, and having just a hint of affection and attachment to someone who doesn't know you exist is dangerous and hurtful, because you grow to expect things from them. Things that is likely to not come true. They're waving at you because it's their job. They gave you a back hug to please you. Artificial happiness. Not real. You don't know them, not really, their personas on TV may not even be the true them.

So I slowed things down a bit, before I became an idiot love-struck teenager obsessed with attractive, strapping Korean men.

And when you take a step back and not indulge yourself in the emotional department of KPop, withdrawing your feelings from the members of a certain group, it admittedly became boring. It's a cycle of comeback teaser -> comeback MV -> comeback performances -> TV appearances, and coming back again for their next comeback. No dokidoki dugeundugeun feeling of looking at your bias because he's not your crush anymore, just another handsome performer.

It's different for Jay Park, I guess, because I respect him and I'm fond of him as an idol (as it should be). I admire his courage to rise up from the gutter and do what he likes, with what little he has after the shit's he's been through. He doesn't whine about it, doesn't do excessive guigui, but is not quitting either. A "my pace" kind of guy. It's like, he doesn't try hard to impress and he doesn't give a fuck but cares about shit anyway. It's hard to explain, but I guess the best way to put it is that he's genuinely genuine — not a corporate product that's been designed a certain way, but just a guy trying to make a living by making music. Still an idol with somewhat mediocre talent, I know, but his genuity should count for something, right?

On to AKB48, because I fucking can.

AKB48 is my thing, okay. It's mine, because it's a niche product and I can literally count with one hand the number of people that knows their other songs other than Heavy Rotation. It's the kind of thing that you want to be popular because it's great and you want to have fangirling/boying friends, yet at the same time you want it to be exclusively, privately yours. Not like it has a danger of becoming popular in Indonesia (save from JKT48 wotas, and I don't count them zombies), as it's obvious the country's infected with KPop and AKB (and JPop in general) just have different concepts and sounds from their Korean counterpart.

I'll start with why AKB48 is mine, as in, why it's my thing and stuff:

• The costumes are mostly cute dresses/colorful uniforms, and I'm a sucker for those. This is a seventeen-year-old girl that still has really soft spots for Disney princesses and their wardrobe, mind you.
• Speaking of which, the whole thing reeks of musicals. They way they bounce on stage and sometimes have dialogues and how they need to act a certain way for a certain song (in love for Heart Gata Virus, lonely and solemnly wanting a hug for Dakishimeraretara, etc) is like a musical, and I absolutely love those kind of shit as well.
• The girls are not drop dead gorgeous!! I never liked perfectly pretty people (S-curve, slight frame, thin nose, etc), so the diversity of girls is a breath of fresh air for me.
• Their marketing tactics are brilliant. I feel like this is important because I'm studying economics in the direction of marketing and I can learn a thing or two from them?? 

I'll stop the list now because it's turning into a list of why I like AKB48, which would be somewhat off topic to the whole "mine" thing. Anyway.

I like AKB48. Judge me lol. I'm a teenage, (probably) straight girl that likes a bunch of girls in cat ears and tails and lingeries singing "I wantchu~ I needchu~ I lapyuu~" It's okay. I would probably judge me silently too, if someone I know likes the girl group that does something like Heavy Rotation.

The thing is, AKB48 goes beyond that 70mill+ viewed music video. *insert common man gasp here* 

"You mean they're not just wannabe porno stars servicing to their 40+ year old something fans??"

Nope, they're more than that, can you believe? And where'd you get that statistics of the 40+ year old men, anyway. You probably think their graduates end up being JAV stars, don't you?

"They're not JAV actresses??"

*sighs*

A brief background to AKB48: they're a theater-based group. That means these girls perform every fucking day in their theater in Akihabara for approximately two hours, in addition to promoting their singles, doing concerts, attending various events, being on TVs, etc. Thus the great number of girls, you see? They can't do all these shit without dying of exhaustion if there are only, oh, say, twenty of them. And the events I mentioned earlier involved, among others, a rock-paper-scissor tournament (Janken Tai), general election where fans vote for their favorite member (Senbatsu Sousenkyo), and handshake events, where fans get to meet and actually converse with the girls. These are done regularly. There are also Request Hour 100, where the girls perform the fans' top 100 songs (they have 500+ songs, btw), and Unit Matsuri, where they perform songs sung by seven or less people. 

I like AKB48 because it never gets boring (yet?); there's always something to look forward to. They release about five singles each year, and there are promotions of members and scandals and Janken and Sousenkyo and Request Hour and graduations and animes and mangas and that's not even counting the sister groups' activities. There are always surprises, too. And, unlike KPop, I don't have to worry about being emotionally invested to them. I mean, sure, I cried when I saw their documentary and shit, but I see them as idols, nothing more. I don't develop a crush on them or anything. I get to focus on their performances and TV shows, which is sweet. 

Right, that's about it, I guess. I'm tired of typing so bye. See you next year or sth. Probably with a different obsession by then. Lol. 

opk feui2012

still waiting for my badge to arrive lolol.

like i said in my last post, i am now a college student; economic major (focusing on management), batch 2012, international program. and life as a college student, well, it's pretty hectic. gonna tell you about opk in this post, because i can. probably things like open recruitments to being committees of feui events will follow, as well as a glimpse of the college life.

anywho. opk. orientasi pengenalan kampus. this is where we spent our nights doing essays and our days being ordered around by seniors — or komisi disiplin also known as komdis — that have enormous lung capacity because holy fuck their voices could reach the high heavens no problem. these seniors are professionals at yelling and not smiling and sometimes i wonder how the fuck was that even possible. i mean, really. it's like they were born as emotionless humans that are designed solely to scream at our faces. common phrases shouted by these komdis includes:

"Pandangan! Lurus! Ke depan!"

"Dipercepat!" (even though i resembled a fish gasping for oxygen by the time i reached the appointed destination)

"Nggak ada yang lucu, dek!"

it's quite amusing that a great deal of opk memories were dominated by them. they're like the symbol of opk, the physical manifestation that we're still under heavy scrutiny of everyone at our campus and that we're still somewhat intruders to their peaceful daily lives. the fact that we still have these seniors ordering us about just proved that we needed guidance and gave the impression that we couldn't do shit on our own in this beloved feui because we were simply newbies at that time. komdis acted as our escort, the people that were responsible for us and were just trying to steer us to the right path through a dose of tough love.

opk itself was really exhausting, somehow more physically than mentally. because yes, seniors do yell at us and they were harsh (as they should be), but running around campus with a chorus of "DIPERCEPAT!" and not sleeping for two straight days to do essays and standing below the scorching sun to get shouted at for our incompetence — well, my incompetence, cause i didn't quite finished my essays — were more draining than the mere words the seniors screamed at us. 

hey, for your own convenience, i compiled a list of things that are cool and things that are not during opk (and pasca-opk)

things that are cool during opk and pasca-opk:

1. presentations of the various badan otonom (bo), badan semi-otonom (bso), and unit kegiatan fakultas (ukf) in feui. they went all out on their demonstration, and it seems like whatever your interest(s) is/are, there's an organization for it. i'm currently a member of the theatre ukf and is planning to be a part of perfek (perfilman) and perhaps ies (international economic students) too. 

2. emphasis on unity and solidarity in our batch, feui2012. it's like everything we do, we do it in the name of feui2012. not as students of the regular, paralel, or international programs; not as management, accounting, or pure economics kids, but as one feui2012. a bit cheesy and delusional, sure. but it's a nice feeling anyway.

3. little hints of kindness from our komdis. rofl. here's a snippet of a conversation between kak rega dan kak kezia with a friend of mine.

my friend: kak, air minum aku habis ... aku sama yang lain dehidrasi dari tadi. bisa minta air nggak, kak?

kak rega: emang udah abis banget?

my friend: iya, kak.

kak kezia: temen-temen kamu? nggak ada yang bisa kamu minta?

my friend: kayaknya udah abis semua, kak ...

kak rega: yaudah, aku panggilin medic deh. tapi mereka juga kayaknya kehabisan. aku liat dulu.

kak kezia: yang lain juga kalo masih ada air dibagi-bagi sama temen-temennya.

it's like, they're trying to act tough and uncaring to us but their actions and words completely proved otherwise. so tsundere ya qaqa lololol 

4. how there's always people that, when prompted, were brave enough to speak their minds. like when we were accused of cheating in our buku angkatan assignment, people spoke up about it. and also, some had the courage to talk back to the komdis. idk. somehow i find it rather refreshing, considering that  bravery and courage to fight back is rare to find in the people that i hang out with (myself included)

5. the last day of pasca-opk, where we're all shepherded to kolam makara. man, that was so fucking awesome. the speeches were a bit corny, but that's to be expected from around here. talk of solidarity and endurance and whatnots, yada yada yada. the best part came after that, when we were told to wash our faces with the water from kolam makara (ew) and instead, someone shouted "CEBURIN KOMDIS!!" and of course that's exactly what we did. well, not "we", exactly. them. the boys, that is. me, i watched and laughed along as the people whose job was to frown and critic got drenched in the mouldy water from kolam makara. they smiled and hugged each other and bursted out laughing as well, and they're wet and stripped off of their authoritativeness and i personally think that look suited them better.

i gave kak mei a bar of soap and told her that would make her cleaner. she roared with laughter and ran off to tell her fellow komdis, and then came back to give me back my soap and to hug me. that was really pleasant, finding out that a komdis too, is human underneath.

kolam makara. a senior riddled us why our makara is gray. was too dumb to came up with an adequate answer lmao. 

things that are not cool during opk and pasca-opk:

1. amount of essays. ew.

2. amount of running. ew.

3. the fact that we need to wear our yellow jackets (jaket kuning—jakun) and our elaborate nametags every fucking where. it's stuffy and hot and it makes it difficult to move without worrying about the nametags being damaged and shit. ugh. 

4. i'm not really close with my groupmates. idk. apparently everyone is. maybe it's just me. 

5. how my ass was cramped when we had to sit down on the mercilessly hard floor of pertamina hall for hours. hours, i tell you. try listening to whoever's in front when you're tired and drowsy as fuck and you can't move properly because of your nametags and your ass is pretty much glued to the ground for an indefinite time. like, seriously. it makes you super grumpy.

well, then. i suppose that's it about opk lol.

final thought? it was worth it. i mean it. really. despite all my complaints before/during/after opk, i didn't regret taking part of it, because it gives me memories, pleasant and not, and i'd have stories to tell to people about starting life as a university student. i gained experiences and friends and a whole new respect to my faculty. i got to know my seniors and the organizations in feui too. i learned a lot from the seemingly useless/burdensome tasks, and i couldn't be prouder to have finished them.

all in all, opk was fine. tiresome and exhausting, but nevertheless a fine event. thanks for everyone involved! c: (though i very much doubt they could/would even read this blog) that was a hell of an ospek.

katasha, out~ =3=

Wow. It's been a while.

Post terakhir gue itu tahun 2011. Sekarang September 2012. Berarti udah setahun lebih, ya. Wow. Agak overwhelming sih. I was a high school student — a Binusian —when I last made a post here, and now I'm in college. FEUI 2012. Nggak galau lagi tentang temen-temen di Madania atau pelajaran di Binus. Pergaulannya pun udah beda banget. Yang dipelajarin juga lebih spesifik dan mendalam. I'm growing up, and time's not slowing down.

Kayaknya gue mau cerita aja gimana gue bisa keterima di FEUI. Nggak ada perjuangan apa-apa kalo boleh jujur, dan ini gue nggak bermaksud sombong. Emang bener kok. I didn't expect to pass myself, to be quite honest.

Jadi sebenernya keinginan (atau lebih tepat kelabilan sih hehe) untuk pergi dari Binus berawal sejak Sasya keluar sekolah untuk homeschooling. Dan banyak yang keluar juga di bulan-bulan/tahun berikutnya. Ke Seattle, ke Australi. And Canna told me that we can, too. "Ambil paket C, sama aja kayak ijazah SMA kok. Ada universitas yang mau nerima itu." Dan Binus susah dan exhausting. Dan gue bahkan gamau ngambil A Level. Dan kata "kuliah" itu kedengerannya indah banget waktu itu. Kuliah! Ada loh yang namanya kuliah siang! Organisasi! Nge kost! Pasti jauh lebih ideal dari SMA. Makanya gue tertarik untuk ngambil whatever it is that Canna's proposing to get out of the hell hole that is Binus. Really. The prospect of coming home at 9 PM to study scared me too much that I decided to just roll with it.

Maka gue ngisi SIMAK UI untuk program Kelas Khusus Internasional, karena mereka terima Paket C and they're going to send us abroad in our third year, which I translated gleefully as a type of escape to an exciting new world. Best of both worlds ceritanya hehehe. Ehem. Anyway. Gue nggak belajar sama sekali, dan semua orang perlu tau kalau. Soal-soalnya. Susah banget. I'm not even kidding, gue nggak ngisi semua soal matematikanya. Geografi Indonesia banyak yang gue kosongin dan yang gue agak bisa (economy) pun masih ada beberapa yang gue cengok sendiri kayak kuda nil blom mandi ngeliatnya. Beneran lesu banget abis ngisi itu ujian, semua harapan dan cita-cita menjadi penerus bangsa pupus sudah di sore itu. Hhh. Yaudah deh, gue pikir. Setahun lagi di SMA juga nggak apa-apa, sama temen-temen, berjuang bareng lulus A Level dan UAN, ketawa-ketawa, nangis-nangis sampe graduation. Bisa, kok.

Tapi ternyata gue keterima, hehe :p

Everyone keeps reminding me that they let just anybody in these days to the international program, though. Like I give a fuck. I know I don't deserve to be here, considering I don't much put effort and stuff. Lol. Kayak nempelin stiker FEUI di mobil aja gue masih ngerasa bersalah, dengerin ceramah dosen/kakak-kakak/dekan kalo kita semua itu "putra putri terbaik bangsa yang terpilih" gue cuma bisa cengar-cengir aja. Yeah, no. Kebanggaan tersendiri yang harusnya gue rasain karena masuk Civitas Academica Universitas Indonesia nggak ada sama sekali. Agak ngerasa gue curang, malah.

Well, it doesn't matter anyway. Gue masuk dan gue akan belajar dengan giat biar bisa lulus tepat waktu dengan GPA/IPK yang memuaskan. At least 3.00 lah.

Oh, btw gue nggak jadi pilih Sastra Inggris karena nyokap nggak ngebolehin dan setelah gue pikir-pikir, keinginan gue untuk jadi kaya melebihi passion gue untuk belajar sastra. So. Yeah. LOL. I dunno, I'm not even that talented in the English language compared with other students that's bound to have amazing English skills in FIBUI.

Segitu aja dulu deh. Kapan-kapan gue post tentang beberapa episodes that's happened when students found out that I'm a 96-liner. C:

Annyeong*~

*shut up I kinda sorta find KPop & JPop enjoyable now okay will elaborate on this further if I have the time ........

tumblr wins.

i mean, seriously. i've got nine hundred something followers in tumblr and all.

anyway, it's been five months in binus, and i'm enjoying the holiday (before school starts in less than three days away). i hate binus, though. i mean, the lessons. it's so frustrating that i'm so stupid there and everybody else seem to have no problem at all. ugh. sometimes i feel like dying.